Books by Ian Rogers
Books by Ian Rogers
“I have made many mistakes in my life and have quite a few regrets.” (Nicky Gumble, The Bible In One Year). I expect everyone has some painful, shameful memories. Things we’ve done or omitted that keep coming back to us - not every day but now and then, often in the early hours. I talked to the retired pastor of a local church about my sleepless ‛worry hours’ when old embarrassments would torment me. He nodded. “Yes,” he said, “I’ve got a few of those.”
I was once at a dinner party where the host, who had lost a hand in a road accident, told a horrendous story about an incident at a swimming pool when someone was badly cut. “The whole pool went bright pink,” he said. I almost fainted into my soup. The details of what happened still come back to me and I usually push them away from the conscious mind.
‛That was just a story,’ I remind myself.‛ You heard it forty years ago. Think of something else.’ It only brings temporary relief. ‛The only way to escape your fears is to face up to them’ is a common platitude. It is only partly true. I once encountered a lady who, without telling me about it, accompanied a school party on a children’s caving trip. She thought a really tough challenge would help her overcome her claustrophobia. As soon as I saw her strained face and popping eyes I took her out of the cave. She had nightmares for weeks afterwards. Some things can be overcome by challenging them, others - more deep rooted and fundamental - can’t. It takes wisdom by the sufferer to know how far to push themselves and what the consequences might be. Well meaning people need to tread very carefully when advising or pushing others. None-the-less, I will risk giving some advice.
When our conscious mind encounters upsetting or embarrassing things it says: “I don’t like that. I won’t let it in”. Rather than becoming filed away under ‛Harmless memories’ it gets dumped in the ‛Dangerous - do not open’ file. The trouble is, improperly stored memories leak out of this file, which is only a temporary fix. That’s why these things come back to us - particularly when the conscious mind is relaxed or off guard. Pushing the painful thoughts back into their temporary file actually makes things worse. The conscious mind basically says. “I know that’s lurking there and I’m determined not to let it out” - but the knowledge that it is lurking there is an acknowledgment that the things exists. It creates a tag for remembering! It’s like saying to someone: “ Don’t think of a rhinoceros!” Immediately the image of a rhinoceros forms in their mind.
I have deadened the effect of the pink swimming pool story by gradually and repeatedly allowing myself to look at details - note- GRADUALLY and REPEATEDLY. I did not do ‛virtual reality’ of the whole horror all at once, just a little bit at a time. I managed on my own - but a councillor might have helped. Real post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS) would have required professional treatment, so get help if it’s necessary.
When my wife and I were part of the late-60s-and-into-the-70s charismatic renewal, there was a “prayer therapy” in fashion called “the healing of memories”. Two senior members of the fellowship that my wife and I attended had been taught this by other practitioners and they successfully helped a number of distressed people. I don’t know if their “clients” were followed up over the years but most were local Christians who had long term contact with the fellowship both before and afterwards so I think we might have heard of any really bad after-effects. Everything was done in a respectful and confidential way, not whizz-bang in front of the whole congregation. I cannot provide follow up details or repeat wonderful stories but I will share the principles of the technique.
The client and two councillors (usually one male and female, for safety of all concerned) would meet privately somewhere warm and comfortable, in relaxed positions, the client sitting back and resting their head, or laying on a sofa. The councillors would explain the procedure, pray, and then ask the client to close their eyes and relax their mind. Using some prior knowledge given by the client as to the form of the troubling thoughts, they councillors would gently and prayerfully take the client back in memory to the disturbing event - all the time reassuring them of God’s love, his complete acceptance and full and non-judgemental knowledge of those events. God already knew every detail, feels their pain and empathises with them; Jesus, the client was assured, was there, unseen, at the time of the event - the day the husband packed up and left, for example. Jesus stood with the weeping mother and child and wept with them as the dad drove away. Jesus’ arms were round them and, as he wept with them, he also reassured them that he loved them, was still with them and would never leave them. The client, I was told, might express or re-live the emotions of the time and the councillors would give appropriate comfort (such as holding the client’s hand for example) while continuing to prayerfully give emotional reassurance and support. They might say things like: ‛It wasn’t your fault’; ‛You were only a child at the time’; ‛God knows about any part you had in those events and he forgives you completely and always did forgive you completely’; ‛God’s forgiveness is perfect, there’s nothing left to feel guilty about’; ‛He or she (the other person in the events) was responsible for their own actions; you have to let go and surrender the events into Gods hands; let him carry it/ deal with it.’ When the client reached a stage of peace, he or she would be gently brought back to the present and eased back into daily life, without rush or pressure. Sometimes the process would yield spectacular results (what psychologists might call catharsis) while at other times repeated sessions brought about gradual change. People and problems are unique and individual so one size of therapy does not fit everyone.
Some readers will recognise similar and common secular counselling techniques. Others may pick up on the parallels with remedial hypnosis. The counsellors I knew would probably deny they used hypnosis and would have claimed that they helped people open themselves to the healing power of the Holy Spirit. Whatever we label it, deep relaxation IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD and bringing Gods love, forgiveness, support and peace into the situation makes this a uniquely Christian activity. And here is more good news; I have found I can surrender my mental issues to God and bring Jesus into situations in my memory even in the middle of the night and by myself. While some stresses and problems do need some professional help, all of them can be lifted to our loving Father in prayer and can be brought more closely into the healing presence of Jesus. He is with us always and we can surrender our bothered minds to him and the Holy Spirit, the one whom Jesus called ‛The Comforter!
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