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To Give And Not To Count The Cost

I am a carer who has been married to a disabled person in a necessarily celibate relationship for many years. I am also a naturally heterosexual male with desires that won’t go away and get stronger when neglected. One day when I was feeling depressed and frustrated I recalled a prayer heard occasionally in church but which I first heard in my brief, four-week membership of the Cub Scouts. A version appropriate to my situation - and maybe that of many others - went as follows:

To stay faithful and not to count the cost,
to have and not demand to hold,
to love and not to ask for any reward
save that of knowing that we do Thy will.

The original prayer by Saint Ignatius of Loyola read:

Teach us, good Lord,
to serve you as you deserve,
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labour and not to ask for any reward,
save that of knowing that we do your will.
  Amen.

Saint Ignatius lived from 23rd October 1491 to 31st July 1556. He was a Basque Roman Catholic priest and founded the Society of Jesus (Jesuits). He was a leading light of the counter reformation (efforts to clean up the act of the RC church in the light of the Protestant Reformation). The counter reformation tried to improve pastoral care and doctrinal regulation but, due to the ‛Law of Unforeseen Outcomes’, it contributed to the development of the infamous ‛Inquisition’ - which does not change the fact that he wrote at least one good prayer and probably many others!

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